In Need of a Get Together | Rory Green

In Need of a Get Together

by Rory Green

I remember when I first heard the term ‘inner child’, I pictured a pouting toddler,

curled forward, arms hugging her knees. She was crouched somewhere deep inside of

me, behind my ribs, peeking through the gaps like they were slatted window blinds. I

felt unnerved by her presence. Did she need a snack? A cuddle? Someone to play

with? It was hard enough meeting the needs of my own two children and suddenly I

had a third small person to worry about. One who didn’t speak much but had the

whole of my history wrapped quietly around her tongue.

When I was training to be a therapist we were encouraged to have a dialogue with our

inner child. Good luck. Mine was uncooperative. She hid her face. Gazed at me with

pleading eyes. Begged me silently to put her to bed and concentrate instead on being

the ‘outer grown-up’ I was supposed to be. I soon realized she wasn’t alone in there.

She was hanging out with my ‘inner control freak’, my ‘inner debbie downer’, my

‘inner hopeless romantic’, my ‘inner moody adolescent’ and my ‘inner catastrophist’.

They were all having a fine old time.

Trying to get the attention of my tenants was a bit like attempting to recite poetry at

rave. My inner child might have been monosyllabic, but the rest of them were a

raucous crowd – constantly jostling to be heard.

We all have busy interiors. Different psychological paradigms assign this

phenomenon varying labels (ego states and sub personalities to name a few).

Whatever you wish to call them, our chaotic internal get togethers are often a result

of neglected aspects of ourselves battling for the limelight.

Start to listen to the voices. Establish firm guidelines. I learnt not to let Debbie

Downer and Hopeless Romantic meet for breakfast on Valentines Day, no matter

how much they petitioned – it was never pretty. Catastrophist was banned from

reading the newspapers for a little while and Control Freak was surprisingly calm

when I instructed her to keep typing and stop tidying. I started dragging Adolescent

to gigs with me and she stopped sulking about all the endless Saturday nights spent

watching ‘The Love Boat’. I bought Child the dog she had been longing for, and we

took a daily walk through the wooded trees in the park. Gradually she began to chat.

She whispered a few secrets to me about connecting with my own children as well;

secrets I had very nearly forgotten.

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ABOUT THE AUTHORESS

Rory Green

Rory Green is a writer with an MA in Integrative Arts Psychotherapy. After immersing herself in both professions, she decided to merge her passions and create Write To Be You, a reflective writing workshop designed to unlock creative blocks and explore authentic voice and self- compassion.

Rory has worked therapeutically with children and adults in London and Los Angeles where she currently facilitates her workshops described by one participant as a “supremely creative environment with ideas to short circuit the critic and unleash the beast, the child, the truth teller, the dreamer within…” Rory’s mother always told her that ‘Girls Can Do Anything!’ a mantra that helped reveal to her that self-belief is the key to creative freedom.

You can visit Rory at her website

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